So seems things are back on with MC. We ended up meeting for a drink Monday night because I was just sick of waiting and sick of worrying if things were going to be so uncomfortable and awkward between us. So I asked him to meet me and he did. Everything was fine...there were a couple of silent moments but, for the most part all was like it was. A lot of laughing and talking and drinking and smoking. He invited me back to his place for some wine he had gotten from work and I of course went. Before meeting him out I was with some girls having a few beers and they were taunting me. Saying I was so getting some ass that night, and I was completely serious when I said no! Sex was not on the table for the night. I had made it clear that I couldn't stay the night with him or stay late. Too bad after 6 beers I didn't really care about no sleep. They each bet me a dollar that I would get laid...turns out they know me pretty well and I'm $2 dollars poorer.
I can't seem to care how bad this is going to hurt in April after he moves. All I know is if he's here and he wants to see me I will. I don't give a shit that he knows he has me completely wrapped around his finger. I wonder if he wasn't moving if I would be so pathetic, probably not. I would try to even things out a little but, knowing that he's going to be gone and so soon all the rules don't apply. It's like when I'm with him I'm trying to memorize everything. The way he looks when he laughs, the way he touches me, the sound of his voice. It's fucking crazy...I have it bad and right now I'm OK with it. Now, if I could just get a job to avoid being evicted shit would be good for me.
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